Single ladies, this one’s for you. I get asked ALL THE TIME how to “deal” with being single. My concern with this question is the perspective. I get if you asked someone how they deal with discrimination or an injury — but single? Single is not inherently negative, and the word deal makes it sound that way. We need to change that!

Whether we like it or not, singleness is something we all have and will experience in our lifetime. It is literally a natural part of life. It is a state of being, and it is not a bad one. It is actually so healthy and gives us space for so much goodness. So, here I go preaching to you all about the joy of being single! 

Being single is a gift. 

Let me help you all shift your perspective on this, and to do so, I will start by meeting you where you are. I get it — relationships are exceptional, but they are also really hard. They require a lot of two precious things: time and energy. Which, let me remind you, we all only have a limited quantity. 

When you are single, 100% of your time and energy are dictated by you. Unlike in a relationship, you do not have to stress what your significant other may think, feel, or say about a situation. From your days to your big life decisions, you are allowed to be selfish. 

And while we are talking about perspective-shifting, we have to change the way we think about being selfish. Being selfish has a negative connotation. Often as females, the society we live in tells us we are paying too much attention to our own wants, needs, and well-being — and not enough to others. 

But I am here to tell you that paying attention to yourself and putting your own wants, needs, and well-being first is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. You become the hero of your own story. And there is so much power to be unlocked in that! 

The most important relationship is the one with yourself.

Relationships come and go! But you always always always will have YOU. This is why it is crucial to ensure your relationship with yourself is the strongest one you’ve got. Invest in it. Date yourself. Learn what fills you up, what you love, what brings you bliss. 

And when loneliness or sadness starts to set in about being single, really lean into this. Try a new thing with yourself. Set intentions for yourself. Treat yourself to a desire! Don’t these sound like all the things people do in relationships anyway? That is because they are!

This is genuinely a win-win because if you find yourself finding love again, you will be better prepared for it. They always say you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. This is how I think that is better worded: you can’t be in a healthy and equal relationship until you are whole. 

Healthy and equal are the relationships to strive for because the toxic and unbalanced ones are the ones you really really don’t want. Trust me, I have spent years undoing the damage those ones can cause – you are better off without it. 

By doing the work of investing in the relationship with yourself now, you will be able to better identify what a healthy and loving relationship is. And shut the door on anything that isn’t. Even better, regardless of the health of a relationship, if you were ever to find yourself single again… guess what? You still have your relationship with yourself! 

So date yourself: order yourself a nice meal, treat yourself to a special movie night, buy yourself the flowers. The most important relationship you will be in your very long life is the one with yourself. It is the foundation for all the rest.

With February here, I know we all will see more about relationships than any other month. But baby girl, this February, I want you to relish in your singleness. When you see the relationship posts, think to yourself, “that signifies love,” and I LOVE MYSELF. 

I want you to remind yourself what a gift being single is and that you are the queen of your own universe! Hold that head high, put on the lip gloss for yourself, and smile sincerely for all that you are doing for YOU – your absolute number one and your most precious gift. If you’re looking for a little more self-love inspo listen to episode 6 of The Yoga Inspired Life Podcast: Yoga + Self-Love 💗 !!